Since God has us staying in Pontiac for the foreseeable future, I have to ask why. We have been praying daily about it because honestly moving is much more appealing and hiding in my house sounds a lot safer, but alas God made me to be relational and calls us to not live in a spirit of fear so instead I pray for what God has us to do. Josh and I are still in the prayer and discussion stage so there is not really much to report. However, I will say that there are many ideas bouncing around. Our church has a challenge for each person to have a block party and build relationships with our neighbors as a way to care for them and bring them to Christ. This totally scares me. However, today I felt he a little nudge of encouragement as I saw and was able to talk to not just one neighbor but two! AND the one has been out of state for 4 years and just moved back! It was encouraging. I love building relationships.
SO while Josh and I still need to pray and talk more, I think that we are going to do it. I don't know what it will look like, but I kind of feel like it is a step out in faith. If no one comes than it will be okay- every step out in faith isn't guaranteed to be a success in our eyes. Right now we are just thinking of having Josh pull the grill in the front and grilling some burgers and hot dogs. I was going to go around and bring invitations. Part of me wants to just throw them in the mailbox and run but I think I am going to go around on my walk and see if I can deliver it in person and talk to them. Perhaps invite them bring side dishes or drinks, etc. I am going to try to take walks often and be outside so I have more opportunities at this relationship building thing.
I get overwhelmed just writing about it. The cross- cultural barriers, the assumptions, the fears. We are the only white, middle-class family in the midst of a poverty stricken, African American community. I approach the whole thing humbled, unsure, and fearful.... fearful of offending, of opening up my house and being taken advantage of, of who knows what?! Yet, I am reminded in a book I am reading, "Too Busy Not to Pray" by Bill Hybels that when praying mountain moving prayers of faith, Hybels reminds us, "Faith comes by looking at God, not at the mountain." So when I become overwhelmed with the size of this mountain Pontiac, I need to not focus on the size of the mountain that seems impossible and overwhelming and scary, but instead focus on this incredible, mighty, powerful GOD who can do ANYTHING!
I don't know what God wants us to do but we have been doing lots of dreaming, talking and praying. It is great that we have volunteers to help this community through places like Habitat for Humanity, Grace Centers of Hope, and Lighthouse of Oakland County. Their work is so valuable. But it saddens me how little care these children and families have for their neighborhood, especially the younger ones. Many of older residents take such good care of their yards, houses, and place. But many are now widowed and having more trouble caring for their homes by themselves. I wish we could do more for helping them with some of these home repairs, or that there was a way of doing this. I so badly want the younger families and kids to take some ownership and pride in their homes and community. I dream of having the local kids pick up the garbage that is just left at the parks....to take care of the spaces they have around them. I dream of seeing my neighborhood care for one another. Helping one another. Serving one another. Yet all around I see so much brokenness. Broken families. Broken homes. Broken trust. The grip of poverty and lack of education, opportunity, community and HOPE is so crippling. Yet, hope and prayer and God there must be to bring restoration.
So all this to say, I am committed to praying daily for this community in which God has my family. We will take the baby steps he is putting in front of us. And I will trust him with the results. If you would pray with me, I would love the support. Pontiac needs so much prayer. There is so much brokenness that needs God's redemption and restoration. Join me adverting our eyes from the mountain and instead focusing on this great God who can do all things!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wedding weekend away!
This weekend Josh and I headed up to St. Ignace along with a TON of friends to celebrate the wedding of a dear friend, Lois! We headed up on Thursday night so that we would have some extra time for girl talk and ability to help some with the pre-wedding stuff. I am so glad that we did. Josh and I really needed the time to talk and spend some time together and also once everyone else started arriving the time we had with the wedding couple was greatly diminished. I must say I did enjoy every second of the wedding weekend.
We had a girls night on Friday night with a few of the girls that had come in early. Nothing like junk food, hotel rooms, and girl talk half the night to make a perfect evening.
On Saturday we had the rehearsal in the morning and then headed to the bride's parents house were we had the rehearsal luncheon. Josh grilled burgers and hotdogs for it. He did a great job and I have to say that I greatly enjoyed my burger! After the luncheon we took over the boat to Mackinac Island with about 60 friends all there for the wedding! We biked around the island, enjoyed the view, skipped rocks, and took a walk up to The Grand Hotel. We all then got food and ate together in the park there. The pizza was delicious and the company was even better! :) To top it off Josh and I headed back and got to enjoy the hottub for an hour! The night ended with a bonfire at the groom's house. It was there that I was able to give Lois her scrapbook that we all made her. It turned out great! I loved how each person made a different page and that meant the book included such different pictures, artistic ideas, and notes. It took a lot of work and was definitely not in my gift set since scrapbooking is really challenging for me, but I am really glad we did it. I must confess that I did enjoy the process once I got started too. I think she really liked it.
The morning of the wedding us girls in the bridal party headed to the beauty salon early. I decided to just do my own hair because it is so short right now that there is really not much you can do with it. I had purchased a cute headband and I was ready to go. I did have my friend, Ana do my makeup while we were there and I did my own nails (although silly me painted my fingernails before I took off my old toe nail polish so I had to redo everything twice). Of course the moment the wedding day started it was over in a blink of an eye. One of my favorite moments is being called over to help with serving the cake and by the end all of us bridesmaids had cake all over us. I was laughing so hard i was crying! We ended the night in a dancing frenzy. It was so much fun!
Overall it one of the best wedding weekends ever. I loved seeing all these dear women and men that I love so much celebrating the wedding of dear friends.
We had a girls night on Friday night with a few of the girls that had come in early. Nothing like junk food, hotel rooms, and girl talk half the night to make a perfect evening.
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| Lois, Me and Carissa enjoying the beautiful weather on our girls night. |
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| A bunch of us girls on a biking break! |
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| My hubby and I enjoying the beauty of Mackinac! |
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| Da boys! |
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| The girls with the bride! |
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| Me, Lois and Ana. I love these women! The countryside girls together again! :) |
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| Ann, me, Ana, and Megan- Aren't we looking beautiful! |
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| The bride and groom! One of my favorite pics! :) |
Thursday, June 7, 2012
God's call to go and then stay and stay and stay..
Josh and I decided to buy a house in Pontiac 8 years ago because it was the only thing we could afford in Oakland County where we both worked, we fell in love with the house, and we strongly felt God's call to the people of Pontiac. Now even as I say that it still makes no sense in my mind. I was raised in the country, in an all white school and neighborhood. We both went to OU and other than African American dorm mates and roommates, there was nothing that would indicate that we would someday chose to live as minorities in a community that has been stricken with neglect, poverty, and unemployment. Yet, Josh and I went to Urbana while we were engaged and looking at houses. While there we happened to attend a seminar on urban ministry. The main point was that one of the best ways to have a real impact on a community and bring others to Christ was to live among them developing intentional relationships. Josh's finding our house for exactly the right place at about that same time seemed like a message that God was directing us to live in Pontiac.
The first 4 years of living in Pontiac was great. Our neighborhood was filled with elderly couples who had raised their families in these houses. They loved to do their gardens and I took daily walks through our neighborhood blocks meeting all these neighbors and developing relationships with many. I loved our house and enjoyed making it our home. However, when the housing market collapsed, I suddenly had a sour taste in my mouth. Seeing our home value drop year after year until our house has dropped 70% + percent in value makes me feel just sick. We are now completely underwater. In the meantime our neighborhood has completely changed. My neighborhood has over 60% of every street filled with vacant, abandoned, foreclosed homes. Then this October a group of men broke into our home. Praise God we were not home and the police caught one of the men and recovered most of our stuff. However, it completely shook my sense of safety and contentment with our home and neighborhood. My heart jumps each time I walk in and something is out of place. I no longer take walks through my neighborhood (one of my favorite things to do) without Josh. Suddenly, I desperately wanted to move. It is amazing how quickly your home can suddenly feel like your prison! I hate feeling stuck!
Which brings us to the desperate search for ways out. We heard an ad for Marketplace homes two weeks ago that offers 6 years of guaranteed rent if you buy a new construction home from one of their partners. I instantly jumped at the chance. We called and found out everything we could about it. It sounded wonderful. Unfortunately, it still left us with two homes and still attached to our current home. What do we do when the 6 years of rent end? What if we are left with two mortgages at the end?At the same time Josh and I got an offer from our bank for a no fee refinance, even though we are underwater. However, while the interest rate was lower than we pay now, it still is a half point higher than what the low is currently. Josh and I have prayed, wrestled, and debated for two weeks about what to do.
After two weeks of this torture, we finally concluded that God was leading us to stay for now. It feels hard and quite frankly I am not 'happy' about it. The idea of a new house, a safe neighborhood, closer drive, school busing, wood floors was soo appealing. However, the anxiety of two homes and financial strain it would put on us were not worth it to us. We commited last year to trying to follow the Crown Finiancials Steps to Financial Freedom. We want to honor God with the money he has given us. At this point it seems that he wants us to stay. We are going to refinance and try to pay down the mortgage as fast as possible.
I was feeling peace with this decision overall. However, I still questioned, "Why do you still have us here God?", "What is the purpose of us being still in Pontiac?" Not that I know, but I feel like at least he gave me a quick answer. Today I came home from work and within two minutes of me going out to help with yard work, I had a neighborhood kid that lives in the apartments across the street come over. A 7 year old boy, he is clearly older than my children, but he clearly wanted to do nothing more than hang out with our family all afternoon. He helped us rake the grass, water the garden, push the girls on the swings, and pull them in their wagon. We spent our afternoon talking about the ants, snails and how cool it is that God created them all to serve a different purpose. By the end of the afternoon, I had my front yard full of 6 different kids ranging from age 5 to 14.
I don't know what all the think. I must confess, part of me worries about exposing my family more to the 'dangers' of our community. That part of me since the break-in wants to hide in our house and shut out all the dangers. I want to protect my children from any harm, whether it's in my head or not. On the other hand, God has continually put these families in my neighborhood on my heart and mind. I have to believe that it is no accident that I have spent the last 8 years praying for this neighborhood, that I ask God why am I still here, and the next day he plops 6 kids in my driveway. So for now, my family and I stay in Pontiac. And wherever I live I seek to serve and love those that God has placed around me. I beseech your prayers as it is all too much for me. Prayers for my city of Pontiac, my little neighborhood, my neighbors, and these kids who God has brought to my door. Pray for our safety, peace, contentment, and that God would bless this decision to stay. Pray that God would give my whole family courage to boldly proclaim Christ as Lord to these families. And even more pray that these families and children come to know the Lord's provision, care, and salvation.
The first 4 years of living in Pontiac was great. Our neighborhood was filled with elderly couples who had raised their families in these houses. They loved to do their gardens and I took daily walks through our neighborhood blocks meeting all these neighbors and developing relationships with many. I loved our house and enjoyed making it our home. However, when the housing market collapsed, I suddenly had a sour taste in my mouth. Seeing our home value drop year after year until our house has dropped 70% + percent in value makes me feel just sick. We are now completely underwater. In the meantime our neighborhood has completely changed. My neighborhood has over 60% of every street filled with vacant, abandoned, foreclosed homes. Then this October a group of men broke into our home. Praise God we were not home and the police caught one of the men and recovered most of our stuff. However, it completely shook my sense of safety and contentment with our home and neighborhood. My heart jumps each time I walk in and something is out of place. I no longer take walks through my neighborhood (one of my favorite things to do) without Josh. Suddenly, I desperately wanted to move. It is amazing how quickly your home can suddenly feel like your prison! I hate feeling stuck!
Which brings us to the desperate search for ways out. We heard an ad for Marketplace homes two weeks ago that offers 6 years of guaranteed rent if you buy a new construction home from one of their partners. I instantly jumped at the chance. We called and found out everything we could about it. It sounded wonderful. Unfortunately, it still left us with two homes and still attached to our current home. What do we do when the 6 years of rent end? What if we are left with two mortgages at the end?At the same time Josh and I got an offer from our bank for a no fee refinance, even though we are underwater. However, while the interest rate was lower than we pay now, it still is a half point higher than what the low is currently. Josh and I have prayed, wrestled, and debated for two weeks about what to do.
After two weeks of this torture, we finally concluded that God was leading us to stay for now. It feels hard and quite frankly I am not 'happy' about it. The idea of a new house, a safe neighborhood, closer drive, school busing, wood floors was soo appealing. However, the anxiety of two homes and financial strain it would put on us were not worth it to us. We commited last year to trying to follow the Crown Finiancials Steps to Financial Freedom. We want to honor God with the money he has given us. At this point it seems that he wants us to stay. We are going to refinance and try to pay down the mortgage as fast as possible.
I was feeling peace with this decision overall. However, I still questioned, "Why do you still have us here God?", "What is the purpose of us being still in Pontiac?" Not that I know, but I feel like at least he gave me a quick answer. Today I came home from work and within two minutes of me going out to help with yard work, I had a neighborhood kid that lives in the apartments across the street come over. A 7 year old boy, he is clearly older than my children, but he clearly wanted to do nothing more than hang out with our family all afternoon. He helped us rake the grass, water the garden, push the girls on the swings, and pull them in their wagon. We spent our afternoon talking about the ants, snails and how cool it is that God created them all to serve a different purpose. By the end of the afternoon, I had my front yard full of 6 different kids ranging from age 5 to 14.
I don't know what all the think. I must confess, part of me worries about exposing my family more to the 'dangers' of our community. That part of me since the break-in wants to hide in our house and shut out all the dangers. I want to protect my children from any harm, whether it's in my head or not. On the other hand, God has continually put these families in my neighborhood on my heart and mind. I have to believe that it is no accident that I have spent the last 8 years praying for this neighborhood, that I ask God why am I still here, and the next day he plops 6 kids in my driveway. So for now, my family and I stay in Pontiac. And wherever I live I seek to serve and love those that God has placed around me. I beseech your prayers as it is all too much for me. Prayers for my city of Pontiac, my little neighborhood, my neighbors, and these kids who God has brought to my door. Pray for our safety, peace, contentment, and that God would bless this decision to stay. Pray that God would give my whole family courage to boldly proclaim Christ as Lord to these families. And even more pray that these families and children come to know the Lord's provision, care, and salvation.
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