Doors Opening and Shutting

We moved to Pontiac 8 years ago after going to a Missions Conference through InterVarsity, Urbana. While we were worried about moving to Pontiac, we loved our house, felt God clearly calling us there, and truly wanted to reach out to the people in Pontiac. We knew it would be challenging as we would have to cross racial, cultural, and socio-economic barriers to make any difference. We also knew that one of the best ways to connect with people is to live where they are.

Eight years later part of me is ashamed of how little we have done. The other part of me is just frustrated with the whole thing and wants to escape just as so many living here do. Even as we can escape into our comfy home, it is still wearing being surrounded by poverty, crime, and brokenness everyday. So often I do just hide in our home wanting to wish us somewhere else. And yet even as I say that we are still striving to make a difference in our neighborhood, even if it just reaches as far as the men, women, and children on our street. We are still praying God uses the our meager efforts to impact his people.

Two years ago a family moved into the rental house two down from us: a single, unemployed mother with 5 children. We have consistently stopped in the summer to talk to them as they sit on their front porch, invited them over, offered repeatedly to help them with homework, brought them food, invited them over for meals, invited them to play in our backyard, changed tires, lent them shovels, rakes, brooms, and even gave them a stroller.  It has been a long process of trying to build trust and any kind of relationship. I even gave them my soup! ;)  (see previous post).

Well FINALLY after two years the kids have actually have been coming over! They have been coming over in fact just about every day to get help on homework for the last few weeks. They have been eating meals with us, hanging out, and having conversations about career dreams, their home situation, school, and church. Of course, I start celebrating and planning out in my heads how we can further witness to and help these children. And then I find out they are MOVING in 2 weeks to Chapter 8 housing. GRRR!!!!

This is exactly what happened with our previous 2-3 neighbors. We worked forever building the relationship, were having great conversations about God, and then they moved too!  Sometimes I just don't get God's plan. We clearly can't move and so I try to focus on what we can do here and now where God has us. Yet when we seek to do his will while we are here, they MOVE right after we spend forever building trust and relationships. What are you having us do, God? I just don't get it.

Even as I write all this I find myself clinging to the hope that God calls us to plant the seeds and help others, and He is the one that makes them grow. God is SOVEREIGN and he will have his will be done for all of his people, even these kids. For now, we will continue our tutoring and conversations for the next two weeks. After that we will continue to cover them in prayer as they move forward to a new home.  Prayers for this family, the conversations we have in the little time we have left, and for God to continue to use us according to his good purposes would be greatly appreciated!

Perfect little scenes.... When do those happen?!

Wow-It's been awhile! Clearly the summer and fall kept us busy. The girls started preschool, Caleb is quite my little helper, Josh is working long hours. Oh, and we are forever in our house(I waiver between being content with my home situation and desperately wanting to move on a daily basis). We are still seeking to figure out why God has us here.
Yesterday the neighbors stopped by to borrow our car jack. They couldn't make it work so they asked Josh to come over and do it when he finally got home. Come to find out they had the wrong size spare so Josh loaned them his and then put it on for them. Earlier that day I had made a double batch of Irish potato soup so I could freeze half for a meal for later use on our crazy, hectic days. I was quite proud of myself for planning ahead. When Josh was over there, I told him to invite them over for dinner (hoping for another opportunity to build relationships). The adults already ate but the kids hadn't and said they would probably come. Imagine my surprise when the oldest boy shows up with a giant bowl to take all my soup and then just leaves! Oh well!
 Now- the story sounds all gracious and giving, but the truth is that it was hard for me invite them over in the first place. It is hard not to be selfish. I made the soup for a freezer meals for my crazy days and now I have no freezer meal. It was hard to lend them our jack and tire (they aren't the best at returning things). It was especially hard to have them just take my soup and not even come over and eat with us- ugh! Even as I admit these things were hard, I roll my eyes at myself and how tightly I so often hang onto things. Sometimes I have to laugh- in my mind I come up with fancy, perfect little scenes of how God is going to use us in this neighborhood, and instead I'm continually reminded that God works in messy, unconventional ways that don't fit my ideal! Lesson learned. I just have to trust the meal I intended for my family is better used feeding another's.