God's call to go and then stay and stay and stay..

Josh and I decided to buy a house in Pontiac 8 years ago because it was the only thing we could afford in Oakland County where we both worked, we fell in love with the house, and we strongly felt God's call to the people of Pontiac. Now even as I say that it still makes no sense in my mind. I was raised in the country, in an all white school and neighborhood. We both went to OU and other than African American dorm mates and roommates, there was nothing that would indicate that we would someday chose to live as minorities in a community that has been stricken with neglect, poverty, and unemployment. Yet, Josh and I went to Urbana while we were engaged and looking at houses. While there we happened to attend a seminar on urban ministry. The main point was that one of the best ways to have a real impact on a community and bring others to Christ was to live among them developing intentional relationships. Josh's finding our house for exactly the right place at about that same time seemed like a message that God was directing us to live in Pontiac.

The first 4 years of living in Pontiac was great. Our neighborhood was filled with elderly couples who had raised their families in these houses. They loved to do their gardens and I took daily walks through our neighborhood blocks meeting all these neighbors and developing relationships with many. I loved our house and enjoyed making it our home. However, when the housing market collapsed, I suddenly had a sour taste in my mouth. Seeing our home value drop year after year until our house has dropped 70% + percent in value makes me feel just sick. We are now completely underwater. In the meantime our neighborhood has completely changed. My neighborhood has over 60% of every street filled with vacant, abandoned, foreclosed homes. Then this October a group of men broke into our home. Praise God we were not home and the police caught one of the men and recovered most of our stuff. However, it completely shook my sense of safety and contentment with our home and neighborhood. My heart jumps each time I walk in and something is out of place. I no longer take walks through my neighborhood (one of my favorite things to do) without Josh.  Suddenly, I desperately wanted to move.  It is amazing how quickly your home can suddenly feel like your prison!  I hate feeling stuck!

Which brings us to the desperate search for ways out. We heard an ad for Marketplace homes two weeks ago that offers 6 years of guaranteed rent if you buy a new construction home from one of their partners. I instantly jumped at the chance. We called and found out everything we could about it. It sounded wonderful. Unfortunately, it still left us with two homes and still attached to our current home. What do we do when the 6 years of rent end? What if we are left with two mortgages at the end?At the same time Josh and I got an offer from our bank for a no fee refinance, even though we are underwater. However, while the interest rate was lower than we pay now, it still is a half point higher than what the low is currently.  Josh and I  have prayed, wrestled, and debated for two weeks about what to do.

After two weeks of this torture, we finally concluded that God was leading us to stay for now. It feels hard and quite frankly I am not 'happy' about it. The idea of a new house, a safe neighborhood, closer drive, school busing, wood floors was soo appealing. However, the anxiety of two homes and financial strain it would put on us were not worth it to us. We commited last year to trying to follow the Crown Finiancials Steps to Financial Freedom. We want to honor God with the money he has given us. At this point it seems that he wants us to stay. We are going to refinance and try to pay down the mortgage as fast as possible.

I was feeling peace with this decision overall. However, I still questioned, "Why do you still have us here God?", "What is the purpose of us being still in Pontiac?" Not that I know, but I feel like at least he gave me a quick answer. Today I came home from work and within two minutes of me going out to help with yard work, I had a neighborhood kid that lives in the apartments across  the street come over. A 7 year old boy, he is clearly older than my children, but he clearly wanted to do nothing more than hang out with our family all afternoon. He helped us rake the grass, water the garden, push the girls on the swings, and pull them in their wagon. We spent our afternoon talking about the ants, snails and how cool it is that God created them all to serve a different purpose. By the end of the afternoon, I had my front yard full of 6 different kids ranging from age 5 to 14.

I don't know what all the think. I must confess, part of me worries about exposing my family more to the 'dangers' of our community. That part of me since the break-in wants to hide in our house and shut out all the dangers. I want to protect my children from any harm, whether it's in my head or not. On the other hand, God has continually put these families in my neighborhood on my heart and mind. I have to believe that it is no accident that I have spent the last 8 years praying for this neighborhood, that I ask God why am I still here, and the next day he plops 6 kids in my driveway. So for now, my family and I stay in Pontiac. And wherever I live I seek to serve and love those that God has placed around me. I beseech your prayers as it is all too much for me.  Prayers for my city of Pontiac, my little neighborhood, my neighbors, and these kids who God has brought to my door. Pray for our safety, peace, contentment, and that God would bless this decision to stay.  Pray that God would give my whole family courage to boldly proclaim Christ as Lord to these families.  And even more pray that these families and children come to know the Lord's provision, care, and salvation.