Today would have been Josh and my 14 year wedding anniversary. So strange to not have him here. Life is so different. It’s so different than 14 year ago and even so different than last year. While last year I spent the week prior and the day of crying pretty much non-stop, this year I look upon this day with bitter sweetness. So many happy memories to look back on, and yet the sadness of missing him. It is good to remember our wedding day, and all the anniversaries that followed. I smile as I remember us being pulled over on our way to the hall. Josh was sweating for sure, one because we were being pulled over and two because it was a super hot day. There was no doubt he loved me as he danced with me all night long. Of course everyone knows dancing is one of his favorite pastimes- not!
After a few years of subpar anniversaries where neither of us planned anything, we decided to switch the planning every other year. The goal was to think of the other person when it was our year to plan. This meant that I planned lots of golf trips. He did a great job planning for me. One year was a couples massage and dinner at the melting pot. For our 10 year anniversary he planned a trip to Cabo. Our last year together we spent at Lake Michigan watching the sunset together and getting ice cream.
I am grateful that the memories make me smile while the tears flow. I am blessed that I have all these wonderful memories. I am thankful for the love he always showed me. I am choosing joy in the midst of the tears as I have Caleb singing me happy anniversary, Kayleigh greeting me with morning hugs, and Grace helping me pick and wash apricots.
Those that sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5
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