I bought a new couch last week. My friend made a comment about it and that night I got online, googled ‘top rated couches for 2018’, found it online and bought it that night. Somewhat spur of the moment, but in many ways long overdue between Josh dying on the couch. I realized I needed to do it awhile ago after the kids started re-enacting Josh dying for my mom on the couch, but it is so hard to take the time, energy, and effort to go couch shopping (besides I do NOT like pushy sales people). It is crazy how we have so many good memories associated with it but yet that one memory taints it all. I didn’t realize until this week how much I avoid that area. I haven’t watched tv since he died. Even when the kids want to have a movie night I sit for maybe 5 minutes before I’m up and moving somewhere else. Thinking about and dealing with has triggered flashbacks and 3am wake ups like crazy. I guess you can only avoid the thing of nightmares for so long before you need to face it some more. The good news is the new couch came and it is beautiful. I am working to make it a place again that I can feel comfortable and at peace. I finally broke down and found lamps that I can use it there instead of just the overhead ones. I want my memories of Josh to be of his life not on his death. For that lasted a day, but his life is forever.
He will swallow up death forever, And the Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces. Isaiah 25:8
Wait- who said what!? Anyway, it is beautiful and a fresh new start for that room.
ReplyDeleteThey were reenacting his death?! 😳.
ReplyDeleteEverybody's gotta let go of things in their own time. That being said, came wait to see the new couch next time!