Main reason for Christmas

Wondering why our neighbors who were "moving in a week" were still coming over everyday, we finally got word from the oldest boy that they were staying!  This immediately had Josh and I both thinking two things: 1- YAY! We have more time to build intentional relationship with these kids and 2- Oh dear, we really need to set up clearer boundaries!  We still haven't figured out good guidelines. We for sure decided that 8pm (our kids bedtime) is the latest they should be over. This became clear as last night they were over getting help on homework until 9:30pm.  It just gives Josh and I no time to unwind and spend time together. At the same time we need time as a family for dinner and time with the kids. It is a tricky balance.  If anyone has any suggestions, let me know!

The great part of them not moving is how many opportunities we have to share God's love with them. Yesterday the youngest boy came over asking for help on a paper he needed to write. The topic was "What is the main reason for Christmas?" HELLO! How much more can God open the door to witnessing about Him!! It was great to hear him say that Christmas is Jesus birthday and that is reason he wanted to write about. However, it quickly became clear he was a bit fuzzy on some things. We had a wonderful conversation about God sending Jesus to earth on Christmas because he loved us. John 3:16 became his intro sentence and it was wonderful discussing in how many ways that gives us the reason for Christmas.  Two hours later he had a completed paper. While it may be frustrating at times balancing 'neighbor' time and family time, I do have to praise God to have the privilege of sharing in His work of loving and serving others.

In a total tangent, I am SO excited for this weekend. My really really good friend is coming to visit for the weekend. This means Elf party fun is coming soon (a yearly tradition centered around food, dear friends, and watching the movie Elf).  I have been waiting for 6 months for this weekend and I am so excited that it is almost here!!!

Neighbor update

My home has been taken over by neighbor kids.  Most days I love the conversations, tutoring and food sharing that occurs. However, I am not quite as fond of the days they come over and just want to put on their headphones and use our computer. Can't have much of a conversation when aren't talking. :/ It has been great as far as helping them with school. Almost every day one of them needs some kind of homework help. Since most of it is math homework, Josh ends up doing the brunt of the tutoring (although I've gotten some English once or twice). In the meantime I've had great conversations with the kids about school, future dreams, faith, church, and home. Since they are at our house every day for at least a few hours, we have started setting some boundaries because its not very helpful to our family to never have Josh home without them over. Typically within 20 minutes of Josh coming home at least one of them is stopping by  (they see his car in the drive and then know we are home). The kids need time with their daddy too!  They don't take hints so we just tell them they need to go home when my kids are getting ready for bed. They are supposedly moving in a week.  It's definitely bittersweet to see them move.

Doors Opening and Shutting

We moved to Pontiac 8 years ago after going to a Missions Conference through InterVarsity, Urbana. While we were worried about moving to Pontiac, we loved our house, felt God clearly calling us there, and truly wanted to reach out to the people in Pontiac. We knew it would be challenging as we would have to cross racial, cultural, and socio-economic barriers to make any difference. We also knew that one of the best ways to connect with people is to live where they are.

Eight years later part of me is ashamed of how little we have done. The other part of me is just frustrated with the whole thing and wants to escape just as so many living here do. Even as we can escape into our comfy home, it is still wearing being surrounded by poverty, crime, and brokenness everyday. So often I do just hide in our home wanting to wish us somewhere else. And yet even as I say that we are still striving to make a difference in our neighborhood, even if it just reaches as far as the men, women, and children on our street. We are still praying God uses the our meager efforts to impact his people.

Two years ago a family moved into the rental house two down from us: a single, unemployed mother with 5 children. We have consistently stopped in the summer to talk to them as they sit on their front porch, invited them over, offered repeatedly to help them with homework, brought them food, invited them over for meals, invited them to play in our backyard, changed tires, lent them shovels, rakes, brooms, and even gave them a stroller.  It has been a long process of trying to build trust and any kind of relationship. I even gave them my soup! ;)  (see previous post).

Well FINALLY after two years the kids have actually have been coming over! They have been coming over in fact just about every day to get help on homework for the last few weeks. They have been eating meals with us, hanging out, and having conversations about career dreams, their home situation, school, and church. Of course, I start celebrating and planning out in my heads how we can further witness to and help these children. And then I find out they are MOVING in 2 weeks to Chapter 8 housing. GRRR!!!!

This is exactly what happened with our previous 2-3 neighbors. We worked forever building the relationship, were having great conversations about God, and then they moved too!  Sometimes I just don't get God's plan. We clearly can't move and so I try to focus on what we can do here and now where God has us. Yet when we seek to do his will while we are here, they MOVE right after we spend forever building trust and relationships. What are you having us do, God? I just don't get it.

Even as I write all this I find myself clinging to the hope that God calls us to plant the seeds and help others, and He is the one that makes them grow. God is SOVEREIGN and he will have his will be done for all of his people, even these kids. For now, we will continue our tutoring and conversations for the next two weeks. After that we will continue to cover them in prayer as they move forward to a new home.  Prayers for this family, the conversations we have in the little time we have left, and for God to continue to use us according to his good purposes would be greatly appreciated!

Perfect little scenes.... When do those happen?!

Wow-It's been awhile! Clearly the summer and fall kept us busy. The girls started preschool, Caleb is quite my little helper, Josh is working long hours. Oh, and we are forever in our house(I waiver between being content with my home situation and desperately wanting to move on a daily basis). We are still seeking to figure out why God has us here.
Yesterday the neighbors stopped by to borrow our car jack. They couldn't make it work so they asked Josh to come over and do it when he finally got home. Come to find out they had the wrong size spare so Josh loaned them his and then put it on for them. Earlier that day I had made a double batch of Irish potato soup so I could freeze half for a meal for later use on our crazy, hectic days. I was quite proud of myself for planning ahead. When Josh was over there, I told him to invite them over for dinner (hoping for another opportunity to build relationships). The adults already ate but the kids hadn't and said they would probably come. Imagine my surprise when the oldest boy shows up with a giant bowl to take all my soup and then just leaves! Oh well!
 Now- the story sounds all gracious and giving, but the truth is that it was hard for me invite them over in the first place. It is hard not to be selfish. I made the soup for a freezer meals for my crazy days and now I have no freezer meal. It was hard to lend them our jack and tire (they aren't the best at returning things). It was especially hard to have them just take my soup and not even come over and eat with us- ugh! Even as I admit these things were hard, I roll my eyes at myself and how tightly I so often hang onto things. Sometimes I have to laugh- in my mind I come up with fancy, perfect little scenes of how God is going to use us in this neighborhood, and instead I'm continually reminded that God works in messy, unconventional ways that don't fit my ideal! Lesson learned. I just have to trust the meal I intended for my family is better used feeding another's.

Pontiac dreaming ...

Since God has us staying in Pontiac for the foreseeable future, I have to ask why. We have been praying daily about it because honestly moving is much more appealing and hiding in my house sounds a lot safer, but alas God made me to be relational and calls us to not live in a spirit of fear so instead I pray for what God has us to do. Josh and I are still in the prayer and discussion stage so there is not really much to report. However, I will say that there are many ideas bouncing around. Our church has a challenge for each person to have a block party and build relationships with our neighbors as a way to care for them and bring them to Christ. This totally scares me. However, today I felt he a little nudge of encouragement as I saw and was able to talk to not just one neighbor but two! AND the one has been out of state for 4 years and just moved back! It was encouraging. I love building relationships.

SO while Josh and I still need to pray and talk more, I think that we are going to do it. I don't know what it will look like, but I kind of feel like it is a step out in faith. If no one comes than it will be okay- every step out in faith isn't guaranteed to be a success in our eyes. Right now we are just thinking of having Josh pull the grill in the front and grilling some burgers and hot dogs. I was going to go around and bring invitations. Part of me wants to just throw them in the mailbox and run but I think I am going to go around on my walk and see if I can deliver it in person and talk to them. Perhaps invite them bring side dishes or drinks, etc. I am going to try to take walks often and be outside so I have more opportunities at this relationship building thing.

 I get overwhelmed just writing about it. The cross- cultural barriers, the assumptions, the fears. We are the only white, middle-class family in the midst of a poverty stricken, African American community. I approach the whole thing humbled, unsure, and fearful.... fearful of offending, of opening up my house and being taken advantage of, of who knows what?! Yet, I am reminded in a book I am reading, "Too Busy Not to Pray" by Bill Hybels that when praying mountain moving prayers of faith, Hybels reminds us, "Faith comes by looking at God, not at the mountain." So when I become overwhelmed with the size of this mountain Pontiac, I need to not focus on the size of the mountain that seems impossible and overwhelming and scary, but instead focus on this incredible, mighty, powerful GOD who can do ANYTHING!  

I don't know what God wants us to do but we have been doing lots of dreaming, talking and praying. It is great that we have volunteers to help this community through places like Habitat for Humanity, Grace Centers of Hope, and Lighthouse of Oakland County. Their work is so valuable. But it saddens me how little care these children and families have for their neighborhood, especially the younger ones. Many of older residents take such good care of their yards, houses, and place. But many are now widowed and having more trouble caring for their homes by themselves. I wish we could do more for helping them with some of these home repairs, or that there was a way of doing this. I so badly want  the younger families and kids to take some ownership and pride in their homes and community. I dream of having the local kids pick up the garbage that is just left at the parks....to take care of the spaces they have around them. I dream of seeing my neighborhood care for one another. Helping one another. Serving one another. Yet all around I see so much brokenness. Broken families. Broken homes. Broken trust. The grip of poverty and lack of education, opportunity, community and HOPE is so crippling. Yet, hope  and prayer and God there must be to bring restoration.

So all this to say, I am committed to praying daily for this community in which God has my family. We will take the baby steps he is putting in front of us. And I will trust him with the results. If you would pray with me, I would love the support. Pontiac needs so much prayer. There is so much brokenness that needs God's redemption and restoration. Join me adverting our eyes from the mountain and instead focusing on this great God who can do all things!

Wedding weekend away!

This weekend Josh and I headed up to St. Ignace along with a TON of friends to celebrate the wedding of a dear friend, Lois! We headed up on Thursday night so that we would have some extra time for girl talk and ability to help some with the pre-wedding stuff. I am so glad that we did. Josh and I really needed the time to talk and spend some time together and  also once everyone else started arriving the time we had with the wedding couple was greatly diminished. I must say I did enjoy every second of the wedding weekend.
We had a girls night on Friday night with a few of the girls that had come in early. Nothing like junk food, hotel rooms, and girl talk half the night to make a perfect evening.

Lois, Me and Carissa enjoying the beautiful weather on our girls night.

On Saturday we had the rehearsal in the morning and then headed to the bride's parents house were we had the rehearsal luncheon. Josh grilled burgers and hotdogs for it. He did a great job and I have to say that I greatly enjoyed my burger! After the luncheon we took over the boat to Mackinac Island with about 60 friends all there for the wedding! We biked around the island, enjoyed the view, skipped rocks, and took a walk up to The Grand Hotel. We all then got food and ate together in the park there. The pizza was delicious and the company was even better! :) To top it off Josh and I headed back and got to enjoy the hottub for an hour! The night ended with a bonfire at the groom's house. It was there that I was able to give Lois her scrapbook that we all made her. It turned out great! I loved how each person made a different page and that meant the book included such different pictures, artistic ideas, and notes. It took a lot of work and was definitely not in my gift set since scrapbooking is really challenging for me, but I am really glad we did it. I must confess that I did enjoy the process once I got started too. I think she really liked it.

A bunch of us girls on a biking break!

My hubby and I enjoying the beauty of Mackinac!

Da boys!

The girls with the bride!

The morning of the wedding us girls in the bridal party headed to the beauty salon early. I decided to just do my own hair because it is so short right now that there is really not much you can do with it. I had purchased a cute headband and I was ready to go. I did have my friend, Ana do my makeup while we were there and I did my own nails  (although silly me painted my fingernails before I took off my old toe nail polish so I had to redo everything twice).  Of course the moment the wedding day started it was over in a blink of an eye. One of my favorite moments is being called over to help with serving the cake and by the end all of us bridesmaids had cake all over us. I was laughing so hard i was crying! We ended the night in a dancing frenzy. It was so much fun!

Me, Lois and Ana. I love these women! The countryside girls together again! :)

Ann, me, Ana, and Megan- Aren't we looking beautiful!

The bride and groom! One of my favorite pics! :)

Overall it one of the best wedding weekends ever. I loved seeing all these dear women and men that I love so much celebrating the wedding of dear friends.

God's call to go and then stay and stay and stay..

Josh and I decided to buy a house in Pontiac 8 years ago because it was the only thing we could afford in Oakland County where we both worked, we fell in love with the house, and we strongly felt God's call to the people of Pontiac. Now even as I say that it still makes no sense in my mind. I was raised in the country, in an all white school and neighborhood. We both went to OU and other than African American dorm mates and roommates, there was nothing that would indicate that we would someday chose to live as minorities in a community that has been stricken with neglect, poverty, and unemployment. Yet, Josh and I went to Urbana while we were engaged and looking at houses. While there we happened to attend a seminar on urban ministry. The main point was that one of the best ways to have a real impact on a community and bring others to Christ was to live among them developing intentional relationships. Josh's finding our house for exactly the right place at about that same time seemed like a message that God was directing us to live in Pontiac.

The first 4 years of living in Pontiac was great. Our neighborhood was filled with elderly couples who had raised their families in these houses. They loved to do their gardens and I took daily walks through our neighborhood blocks meeting all these neighbors and developing relationships with many. I loved our house and enjoyed making it our home. However, when the housing market collapsed, I suddenly had a sour taste in my mouth. Seeing our home value drop year after year until our house has dropped 70% + percent in value makes me feel just sick. We are now completely underwater. In the meantime our neighborhood has completely changed. My neighborhood has over 60% of every street filled with vacant, abandoned, foreclosed homes. Then this October a group of men broke into our home. Praise God we were not home and the police caught one of the men and recovered most of our stuff. However, it completely shook my sense of safety and contentment with our home and neighborhood. My heart jumps each time I walk in and something is out of place. I no longer take walks through my neighborhood (one of my favorite things to do) without Josh.  Suddenly, I desperately wanted to move.  It is amazing how quickly your home can suddenly feel like your prison!  I hate feeling stuck!

Which brings us to the desperate search for ways out. We heard an ad for Marketplace homes two weeks ago that offers 6 years of guaranteed rent if you buy a new construction home from one of their partners. I instantly jumped at the chance. We called and found out everything we could about it. It sounded wonderful. Unfortunately, it still left us with two homes and still attached to our current home. What do we do when the 6 years of rent end? What if we are left with two mortgages at the end?At the same time Josh and I got an offer from our bank for a no fee refinance, even though we are underwater. However, while the interest rate was lower than we pay now, it still is a half point higher than what the low is currently.  Josh and I  have prayed, wrestled, and debated for two weeks about what to do.

After two weeks of this torture, we finally concluded that God was leading us to stay for now. It feels hard and quite frankly I am not 'happy' about it. The idea of a new house, a safe neighborhood, closer drive, school busing, wood floors was soo appealing. However, the anxiety of two homes and financial strain it would put on us were not worth it to us. We commited last year to trying to follow the Crown Finiancials Steps to Financial Freedom. We want to honor God with the money he has given us. At this point it seems that he wants us to stay. We are going to refinance and try to pay down the mortgage as fast as possible.

I was feeling peace with this decision overall. However, I still questioned, "Why do you still have us here God?", "What is the purpose of us being still in Pontiac?" Not that I know, but I feel like at least he gave me a quick answer. Today I came home from work and within two minutes of me going out to help with yard work, I had a neighborhood kid that lives in the apartments across  the street come over. A 7 year old boy, he is clearly older than my children, but he clearly wanted to do nothing more than hang out with our family all afternoon. He helped us rake the grass, water the garden, push the girls on the swings, and pull them in their wagon. We spent our afternoon talking about the ants, snails and how cool it is that God created them all to serve a different purpose. By the end of the afternoon, I had my front yard full of 6 different kids ranging from age 5 to 14.

I don't know what all the think. I must confess, part of me worries about exposing my family more to the 'dangers' of our community. That part of me since the break-in wants to hide in our house and shut out all the dangers. I want to protect my children from any harm, whether it's in my head or not. On the other hand, God has continually put these families in my neighborhood on my heart and mind. I have to believe that it is no accident that I have spent the last 8 years praying for this neighborhood, that I ask God why am I still here, and the next day he plops 6 kids in my driveway. So for now, my family and I stay in Pontiac. And wherever I live I seek to serve and love those that God has placed around me. I beseech your prayers as it is all too much for me.  Prayers for my city of Pontiac, my little neighborhood, my neighbors, and these kids who God has brought to my door. Pray for our safety, peace, contentment, and that God would bless this decision to stay.  Pray that God would give my whole family courage to boldly proclaim Christ as Lord to these families.  And even more pray that these families and children come to know the Lord's provision, care, and salvation.

Little man growing up!

My baby has become a little man so quickly. He loves parroting anything said or done, following Papa or daddy around, and "working" with his tools. At my parent's house just last week, Caleb decided Papa needed his help fixing the 1957 chevy scrap parts. He clearly is the man for the job. ;)

Hard at work.

Of course a hammer is the right tool for the job.

Look at that two handed move! Skills! :)

I love seeing his concentration and how hard he 'works'. ;)  Caleb is obsessed with boots now. He wears these rain boots all day long. He also wears anyone's shoes or boots that he can get his hands on. On the other hand, Caleb also is the little brother of two older sisters.... sooo he also gets donned in high heels and headbands on occasion too! : )

Nothing like bunny ear headbands! 

Mommy's high heels!

The red heels just match so well. Let's be honest, he is just happy he has a fruit cup! ;)

Trying to be just like Papa and Uncle T. :) 

So much fun! :) 

Helping Papa mow the lawn. 

He is my happy, adventurous, and fun little man! I sure do love him! :)

Fun Food Fridays

The last two months the kids and I have been having fun food friday. While I have been a slacker at posting blogs, I have been avidly reading other blogs.  One blog, 'Meet the Dubiens', has the best ideas for kids' lunches. She has these bento boxes she uses for her kids' lunches and she make the cutest meals. Grace, Kay and Caleb loved the idea of having cute lunches so I figured I would give it a try. They like helping make it and love the final product. I really enjoy being creative in a way that doesn't require artistic skills like drawing, etc. Most of the materials are things that I already own too: cookie cutters to make the shapes, play-doh shape cutters to make the smaller ones, silicone baking cups, and regular food that we always have around. Here are just a few of the ones we have done:

Grace with her bunny. A simple peanut and butter sandwich with apple ears, cheese whiskers, a carrot nose, and chocolate sprinkle eyes.  Applesauce with sprinkles in the cup with a side of veggies and dip. :) 

Caleb already stealing the bunnies whiskers! :) I like the challenge of getting all the food groups in one meal.  

Quesadilla flower with veggie grass. I loved the idea of using chicken quesadilla for the flower, cucumber skin peel to make the stem and silicon cupcake cups to hold the dip. :) 

Kay loved the owl. :)  Cheese, food safe markers,  quesadilla, and carrots. She had already eaten the apple and rest of her lunch before I could take the picture!  

Now I really don't have tons of time to do this stuff for those of you who think I'm crazy. We only do it on Fridays for lunch because it is the only day that we are typically home on a regular basis. It is a nice intro to the weekend and we all enjoy it.  I actually can't wait until the girls have to pack lunches for school. Granted I am not up for daily 'fun food' but I like the idea of adding little touches and also continuing fun food friday with their school lunches/ bento boxes. 

Hair woes and joys.

I have been away for a bit. Between my computer breaking and the pure crazy busyness of spring, I have not had a moment to post anything.  One of the events of the month is the girls haircuts. It is plural because they have had two haircuts this month, both from family members.
It all started two weeks ago when I had planned to the kids pictures taken for Caleb's 2 year photos and the girls 4 year photos (because I have been slacking on their photos too!). The night before the shoot I was feeling pretty good. They had their baths, I had their clothes laid out and ironed, their bags packed, and all the kids in bed for the night (and it was only 9pm!). Of course this was a perfect recipe for a disaster. Twenty minutes after I patted my own back, the girls came out of their room. I was actually surprised to see them because they had been completely silent so I had assumed (foolishly) that meant they were actually sleeping. Well in fact they had been cutting each others hair.  Let's just say that Kay is going to make a better hairdresser than Grace based on the results. ;)

Grace- post haircut.

Kay's -post 1st haircut

I am ashamed to admit how mad I was. I kept it together while they were in the room, but when I walked out of their room, I may have chucked the scissors across the room and yelled, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THE NIGHT BEFORE PICTURES?! COME ON NOW!!!" Not my finest moment. Of course later the guilt trip over my reaction occurred since I truly want my children to have their beauty come from within and not put such an emphasis on outward appearance. Yes, there is the safety issue of them playing with scissors that I can be rightly upset about, but truly in my heart I was mainly upset that they "ruined" their hair (especially after growing their bangs out for 6 months!!).

I did decide to go through with the pictures the next day. (Part of me wants those pics to show them when they are older.... high school graduation anyone?!?!) The pictures really did turn out cute. I just kept using mommy spit to slick Kay's "bangs" sideways so you can't really tell how crooked they are. See proof they turned out cute:

My three cuties! 

Because they cut their hair so jaggedly and short in the front, I kind of thought it was pointless to pay and have someone 'fix' it. I didn't just want them to cut more from the front. There were big chunks in the back though that just made it look a bit like the 80s mullet. I really wanted them to have a summer haircut too. Therefore, I decided to try to cut it myself. It was messy, started in the shower, continued to the kitchen, and ended outside, but we finally finished. It amazes me how different their hair is. Kay's hair is super fine and thin while Grace's hair is thick. She has a LOT of hair. Overall I am happy with how the cuts turned out. Iwent for a bob since it is easy and cute. It was my first attempt at cutting their hair. I still have no clue what to do with Kay's bangs so I just left them. Hopefully they will grow out quickly. I think they feel pretty too, which helps since my overreaction left them feeling bad about their hair look. Words do not describe how bad I feel about make my daughters feel anything but beautiful.

Kay.....such a cutie

My beautiful girls! :) 

Look at that smile! 

Overall, their hair looks cute and they continue to be my beautiful girls, inside and out. Geez, I love them. May God assist me in helping them value themselves as beautiful women of God created in his image.

Day at the zoo!

Today was GORGEOUS!!!  :)  When I realized how nice it was this morning, I got instantly antsy to get outside. Josh was working a double shift today so we called him and convinced him that he needed a mid-day break to the zoo! :) We went at noon and Josh met up with us at 1:30. It was so nice! Grace wanted to see the giraffes, Kayleigh was excited about the zebras, and Caleb wanted the bears and monkeys. We got to see all three up close!  :)

Three in a row! Only way to survive when little feet get tired of walking!

Kayleigh riding on top is smiling with the sleeping lions. :) 

They were VERY impressed with the HUGE bird (ostrich)!

Kay, Grace, and Caleb looking at the approaching peacock.

PEACOCK!

Fascinating..

Caleb observing...

"But mom, it is too sunny to take pics with the rhino." -Grace

Kay with the lemur.

Kay was most excited about her pic with the zebra (too bad Grace bopped in front at the last minute -whoops).

Grace really wanted to see the giraffe today. :) 

And she was VERY happy when she got to see the giraffe up close!

Kay was pretty happy too!

No clue where this face is coming from!

So happy!

Could never get Caleb to take his eyes off the animals to look at me.

Enjoying a picnic lunch by the bear exhibit. 

Looking at the bear.

Caleb seriously kept yelling, "Bear! Hide!" repeatedly the whole time!

There is a kangaroo somewhere behind us I promise!

The girls were hopping like kangaroos!

Daddy enjoying the day too!

The zoo was perfect. We loved every moment. I also LOVED that by the time we made it home all three were totally out and I got to enjoy an hour to myself! GOOD DAY! :)