Funerals

A funeral is a lot like a messed up wedding. You pick songs and Bible verses, have a pastor speak, make newspaper annoucements, pick a menu and food, see all your favorite family and friends, and receive lots of gifts and cards. You feel loved by all those who came, and feel like you have no time to really talk to anyone. Yet, your beloved isn't there, and instead of walking down the aisle to meet your waiting love at the front, instead you are walking down the aisle before a casket with vows of love and faithfulness 'till death do us part' ringing in your ears.  Yep, definitely like a messed up wedding. So depressing I can't even take it.

In all reality, I loved the funeral as much as one can love a funeral. They posted the audio for it on the church's website and I have listened to it over and over again. Hearing loved one from school, work, family and friends share about Josh in the eulogies make me even now laugh and cry. I loved hearing about my beloved, seeing him from different perspectives. Hearing how funny, kind, loving, compassionate, "wicked smart", and sassy he was.  He was such a good cook, a technology nerd, and so hospitable and giving. He was amazing. Pastor did an amazing job with the message. The love of the Lord never ceases. When he stopped and spoke directly to my children and had them pinkie swear to always talk to me and give hugs, my heart overflowed. I need them to know how much I love them, how much I want them to talk to me about anything, and most of all how much we all need to resolve to love God and trust him with all our heart, mind, and strength through this. God is faithful. He loves them and us so much. I don't understand why this happened, but I do know that God loves us and will carry us each day through this.