Elephant in the room

Please, dear friend,
Don't say to me the old cliches,
Time heals all wounds,
God only gives you as much as you can bear,
Life is for the living...
Just say the thoughts of your heart.
I'm sorry, I love you, I'm here, I care.
Hug me and squeeze my hand.
I need your warmth and strength.
Please don't drop your eyes when I am near.
I feel so rejected now by God and man.
Just look in my eyes, and let me know that you are with me.
Don't think you must always be strong for me.
It's OK to cry.
It tells me how much you care.
Let me cry, too.
It's lonely to always cry alone.
Please keep coming by even after many weeks have passed.
When the numbness wears off, the pain of grief is unbearable.
Don't ever expect me to be quite the same.
How can I be when part of my being is here no more?
But please know, dear friend, with your love, support and understanding,
I will live and love again and be grateful every day that I have you.
- Mary Bailey, Galesburg, ILL

Quite a bit of this rings true. I have been so blessed with so many hugs, love, and support from so many loved ones in these early weeks. And yet, I have also had the eye avoidance and ackwardness when the person is so uncomfortable because of the loss, and try to avoid talking about it, or just avoid me completely.

 For the love, just acknowledge the elephant in the room!

Don't hesitate "because it will make me think of him". There is never a time I am not thinking of him! He is always in the back of my mind even as I am smiling, or talking, or teaching a lesson. I appreciate that you remember, acknowledge.  For some I know it's hard to have people ask how they are doing each day. For me, I fear when no one asks anymore. When the hugs, texts, calls, prayers, and acknowledgments stop. Even now I can feel everyone else's lives moving on, and mine still frozen in the immense grief and loss.