Caleb is turning 8 today. The missing of a 7 year old turning 8 year old is so raw. Caleb is in so many ways a mini version of Josh. He is soo frank, so honest, and so straightforward to the point of getting himself in trouble for it. He LOVES talking sports stats, playing football and baseball, and will take every opprotunity to do so with others. It would have been the delight of Josh’s heart to share that with him. It rips my heart apart to think they don’t get to do that. The missing of a little boy of his dad just rips the heart apart. Last week he shared yet another
Caleb, “ Mom, I dream of daddy almost every night!.”
What do you dream?
“ I dream that we play baseball and go to Disney and watch football and play golf.”
That must be nice to have those great memories.
“Yeah.... but it doesn’t end nice... daddy always dies of a heart attack at the end of every dream.”
Cue the flow of tears that doesn’t ever stop. He follows this up by asking to listen to “Blessed be the Name of the Lord”. Cue more tears. Of course that sound ends and he asks next for Josh’s favorite “Uptown Funk”. Cue the laughter. Gracious, he can get me from tears of sorrow to joy in 5 minutes flat.
Praying for God’s grace this year and the years to follow to comfort the heart of this hurting boy who missing his dad on his birthday.
That is such a sad reality that he is gone when the kids need him so much. Thankful they have such strong memories and know how deeply they were loved. You’re doing so well Kelly. Praying for the strength, and comfort for them.
ReplyDeleteOh how I wish this weren't the reality for you and the kids Kelly and that one of us could poof!--change it all back to normal for you. If we could we would. Thank God for a loving Father who has an almighty plan that none of us can fathom the why sometimes... but will one day be revealed to us. Praying for you and the kids for daily joy and strength. 💙 . Sorry for the lengthy words but I think this song has the best words to pray over in hurt:
ReplyDeleteThe Hurt & The Healer
MercyMe
Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains
So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say it’s over now
I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ll fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide
Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide
Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
Ohhhh sweet Caleb. You bring unspeakable joy...keep that honest sensitive funk going buddy! Uptown Funk 😂 Love you Fink Family!
ReplyDelete