Struggling

I have been struggling. I just can’t seem to get myself out of this depressive funk of one minute being furiously angry to the next being super irritated with everything and everyone to feeling super apathetic.  It’s my birthday- of course one of the most looked forward to days of the year, and instead of waking up happy and excited, I woke up crying. It probably doesn’t help that I haven’t been sleeping well- I hate you 4am.  In any case, I keep trying to do things to help snap out of it, but nothing seems to be working well. Walks, puzzles, praying, reading my Bible... nothing seems to be helping. I’m just sad. I miss Josh. I miss what was my life. I want to wake up to a giant Josh sized bear hug, not just on my birthday, but every day. I miss him so much... and this missing cloaks me in a blanket of sadness and depression, I just can’t seem to peek out of.
Thank the Lord for family, friends and kiddos that always bring joy even in the midst.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18