Joshua

How Josh approached the Lord has always been different than I. I love that about the Lord; he meets each one of his children in different ways. I have always had a relatively easy time with the idea of having faith in God.  I can't remember a time I didn't believe in Him and know that he loves me.  Josh on the other hand really struggled for a long time with reconciling what he knew from science and his experience with who God was. When he first started college he really didn't believe in God. He sort of believed there could be a God, but it wasn't a relationship with God. He actually had two friends invite him to InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. Being the laid back, go with the flow Josh, he went at first to play basketball and for the friendships. By the time I really got to know him, he was going to two Bible studies each week, Thursday large group IV meetings, and was reading the Bible regularly. It amazed me that someone could be doing that much each week all while claiming to not believe any of it to be really true - yet. It was so Josh though. He wanted to make sure God was real before he was going to live his life for Him. He was never one to flippantly make a big decision without thoroughly investigating it. Talking about it with him, he just kept saying, "I know that if I follow God, it means I must do it with my whole life, wholeheartedly. I want to know what I am getting myself into before committing." I will never forget the day we all came home from the IV fall conference that we had begged him for weeks to go to with us. We came back and there was Josh with a smile on his face. He just kind of announced, "I believe".  I think he even messaged it before we got home. And that was it. We left and he spent the weekend wrestling with God.  And then he believed.  Oh the power of the Holy Spirit and God's Word never ceases to amaze me.  He kept pursuing God, reading His Word, church, Bible studies, IV.

In all those years since, he was never one for big shows or displays. It was more in the quiet way he pursued God. Taking our children to church each week, actively pursuing going to Bible study, quietly contemplating with me on what he learned through the sermon or Bible that week. His perspective on God and how He worked always was more analytical than mine. He always was bringing up insights I would have never thought of. Oh how I miss our drives back from church or Bible study as we'd talk about how God was working or what he was teaching us. I miss our drives back from Vicksburg as each time we'd pray together for his family. I miss how when I'd get anxious he'd always point me back to trusting in the faithful Lord.  I miss his prayers for our family at dinner and reading the Bible to our kiddos. 

I love that Josh's name is Joshua. Meaning God is my salvation. Joshua, a man in the Bible that served the Lord faithfully.  It is Joshua who gathers all the people of Israel together and says to them, "Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshipped, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesireable to you, then choose for yourself this day whom you will serve, whether the gods of your ancestors or the gods of the Amorites. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:14-15  We may not have gods of our ancestors today, but we do have the worship of ourselves, money, comfort, safety, and so many other things we choose to love instead of God.  I am eternally grateful that my Joshua made the same commitment as the Joshua of old, to serve and love the Lord faithfully. Oh what blessed assurance and comfort that brings.

But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.