I actually had a crazy productive day! It was a whirlwind. Car title transfers at the Secretary of State, passports at the Clerk's office, solidifying my health care with work, and meeting with Social Security. Overwhelming but it felt so good to actually get some concrete things done. It also went as smoothly as I could have possibly asked for. Praise God! Thanks for all those prayers!
The day did not end as I'd hoped though. I think I may have overdone it because by dinner I had a pounding headache. This was then followed up by working with Caleb on homework for two hours for an assignment that should have taken 15 minutes. I should have just quit and gone back later, but I'm stubborn and also like to have a task completed once started. However, in hindsight this time I should have just waived the white flag and given up! After this torture session, the kids were begging me to go rollerblading with them. I managed to for a little while before the bickering commenced. I am so sick of bickering!
The evening ended with both Caleb and Kayleigh having monster meltdowns. Kayleigh had a list a mile and a half long with why school and everything else in life is horrible. I totally understand that everything in life right now feels hard and overwhelming. I understand that much of it is just part of the grieving process, but after awhile I struggled with having due empathy and just didn't want to hear even one more negative comment. I was done. I tried praying with and for her, spending time reading with her, doing our Bible time, empathetic listening, and refocusing on the positives of the day. However, she was having nothing to do with it. She was firmly entrenched in her pity party and there was nothing I was going to be able to do to get her out of it. I finally just couldn't take it anymore, said goodnight and went to bed. UGH! And then I feel guilty for leaving. This parenting a grieving child SUCKS!
So thank you for listening to my own personal pity party of negativity. The hypocrisy does not fail to strike me. 😝
You are such a great mother, and you are handling each situation with such grace, love and trust in God. We are praying that God continues to give you the strength to face each day.
ReplyDeleteShe may not have responded in the moment...I admit that I don't always respond to what I know to be true as an adult. I can be very stubborn. But you kept pouring truth into her, and, even in eventually leaving her to sleep, you weren't giving up but realizing that you said what you could in the moment. Praying that God's words you are sharing plant seeds deep in her heart!
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