At the library today, I overhead a woman talking about me. Can you say awkward!?! I guess her daughter went to school with my sister. She didn't even know I was there until she looked over and spotted me. Then she went on for ten minutes about how it had to be divine intervention I was there because she was just talking about me and this other woman ran a young widow support group. UGh! Who wants to be a member of the young widows club? Involuntary membership, irrevocable.
I'm only two weeks in and I already hate it. Half the time I see tears and know people are looking at me in horror as seeing me brings up every fear they imagine as they picture it happening to themselves. It isn't supposed to happen to someone 'young', or their age, or with children. I can see the thoughts swirling, "If it can happen to her than it can happen to me". I get it. I have similar thoughts and fears when I hear of children dying or sickness or cancer. You instantly put yourself in their shoes and then internally cringe away in horror at the thought, praying "not me God". There are some who I know love me and will be there even in the heartbreak, muck and mire of the years ahead. Others I can already tell I am the rain on their parade of life. And I hate being rain. I love being sunshine.
You are sunshine! Please know that you will never be the rain on my parade. Josh's death did hit home... I am not going to lie about that. But that is why I feel so strongly about being here for you. Our stories up till now were pretty darn similar... I mean even down to living in Pontiac... God was like Kelly, Erin... you will be friends even if it takes 10 years for you to realize it..! I am pretty sure Chloe and Caleb have been in every class together since 3 year old preschool. Sure wish I would have known you were driving back and forth from Pontiac at the same time as me several days a week. So happy we finally listened to God saying BE FRIENDS!
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