missing him

I remembered too late that it was Pie 3.14 day... And now I want pie. Bummer.

 This week is a whirlwind of running from one thing to another. Work has been especially busy with scheduling students for classes next year. I LOVE this part of work so it has been fun, but the early mornings and leaving late has made things a bit chaotic. Add allergy shots, homework, and girl/boy scouts on top of it and we are running like chickens with our heads cut off. Of course the kids are making me pay for it in spades in the evening.

I feel like a broken record. My emotions swirl and rotate and the minute I feel okay, the horrible ones come back to steal the breath out of me again. I was okay last night and then today I am back to feeling sucker punched. I miss him so much. I miss the smell of him after he has been grilling all day. He was always such a good listener. He made me feel like he wanted to know me and everyone else that he spent time with. I miss how we got each other. He knew in a moment how to make me laugh. He was a calm in each storm. I can tell my children so desperately miss climbing on their jungle gym, rough housing and hanging all over him. I can't give them that. I don't play that way.  Tonight I am taking the kids to a Pistons game. The first thing that kids said when they found out was, "Daddy would have really loved to go too." He loved sports and I loved sports because he did. I think of how many things I do because he loved it and I wanted to be with him and show him love by loving the things he loved- golf, football, histology.  Some days are ok, but today I just plain miss him.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever- Psalm 73:26