I have always hated being alone. I like people around. I like living with others. Even when Josh and I were first married we had a never ending stream of friends and family who would live with us for seasons of life. Josh used to tease me that after our kids were grown that we'd have to live in a commune or host others forever to meet my never ending need to have company. The last few years with Josh working nights were tough as I'd be on my own at night more often. I usually found friends to visit or just hang out with the kids, but typically we'd always find our way to be around others. And now....the loneliness threatens to overwhelm so often. I so miss my go-to companion and friend. The one that I knew would always want to hang out with me, talk to me or just be with me. It's the gap that I don't know what to do about. Even this week I have the opprotunity to get 4 suite tickets to a Pistons game, just enough for the kids and I to go. However, the thought of doing that without another adult along with me makes me want to cry and not go at all. The other side of me just can't pass up the opportunity of a free Pistons game suite that my kids would adore! I don't want to rob them of such a cool and fun experience just because I'm afraid, overwhelmed or just feel lonely.
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." - Psalm 91:2
We are of the same community mindedness, and yet...I know so many times in my solitude, I've found that I must cling closer to the God who is the reason for my every good and satisfying relationship. I am praying against that trepidation of doing life without Josh. I am hurting with you in your loneliness. So thankful to be in fellowship with a heart like yours that just loves people and sharing community.
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